some despairity

i can't believe i'm blogging here
it's been ages
but i just needed to after a bit
i guess despite the comprehensiveness of wordpress,i just get a more "bloggy" vibe in this wider,noober,posting template,much to my frustration of detaching from this blog.
i hate blogging i think,these days
all i blog about are bad stuff:(

sorry to disappoint yet again
i want to release some gloom...
today was the release of EndOfYear exam papers
not much improvement from term3
oh,alot of C5's
i can practically spell Cash,Condo,Credit card,Car and Countryclub membership for you,almost.
A1 for Physics,but i dunno whether it will be sustained in overall marks given my sloppy daily work
um,a 58 for the Chem paper.there were only like,9 distinctions in the whole pure science cohort.no fun.i'm not even close.
and English,oh gosh,i feel so decepted:(
in MrOng's class,can get like 20+-24 and on average 22 for formal letter..and then this time i only reached 19/30:( both Paper1 components
what the blazes..
i know my sentences are long...but i thought they looked pretty much correct.
but i kind of deserved it for my compo,it was pretty crap,not much flair in language at all.
i chose q5)Victory.i wrote on soccer?!
yup,weird right?of all things.i don't even have any experience in the area of athletic victory,but nothing else came to mind seeing how my head was bogged down with formal letter material.how cliche.

hmm..
aside the demoralisation and disappointments,
i don't feel like crying or bawling or whatever.(except for maybe english)
all i have in my mind is "I want to study like shit."
studying last minute never helps,i've learnt,except maybe mid-yrs.mid-yrs was not bad.(wth?)
i want to hit Fullerton Starbucks again,it's nice there:)
or maybe Changi,if anyone lacks enough sanity to accompany me there
can't chill the whole nov-dec holidays away,must start getting used to studying like an O level candidate and build my stamina
not to mention juggling band concert preparations and all

one more week before school holidays officially start
and the last term of secondary three ends
i can't believe it flew by so fast,like you know you know,boomps!
it's O level prep.
hm,to conclude,i guess i did have some fun as a sec3 student,esp since we're upper sec and get to do more stuff we want.
been fun getting to know new people and teachers.and not only in kranji,but also band members from the pre-SYF band exchanges:)
i guess it all went by so fast because so many things happened.take for example,the sec three syllabus that is twice or trice as fast the speed of sec two syllabus(as in twice as much topics learnt).then you're like dizzy and "Eh,eh?!wad happened?so fast ah?"
and then there's all the disappointments faced such as results or SYF.kind of made me feel gloomy throughout the yr that i almost ignored the fact that there were fun times,because whether we had small creditable achievements or proud moments,it all boiled down to the end result.
hm,i wonder.
...
....
.....
yupyup,it does.
i am typical pessimistic kiasu Singaporean student worrying about results already.
my academics suck,got to study starting november!

P.S. here's a thought:italics.tilting tower of pisa. hmm,did you realise that already or am i really slow?
P.P.S. seriously,who reads this blog?the site visit figures had actually reached 900+ after a while.i am surprised,and mildly honored.